Sunday, May 13, 2007

TONI NEEDS

I wish I could say this idea is my own but that would not be true. So I'm just going to say thanks to Kelli for sharing this hilarious internet search with me (I figure if I send my four readers some traffic her way, she won't mind me borrowing her fun.)


Okay, so! Go to "Google" and search for "your first name needs" (i.e. I typed in "Toni needs"). This is what "Google" says I need - (followed by my comments in parenthesis):


  1. Toni needs a predictable routine in a safe and comfortable environment (padded walls if necessary).


  2. Toni needs to widen her circle of friends as well (and I want anonymous bloggers who read this to take note and SPEAK UP SO I CAN HEAR YOU).


  3. Toni needs to come back. (Where did I go? I hope I had a good time.)


  4. Toni needs legs. (BA! HAHAHA! Um, I don't think so. Pooh guy knows best.)


  5. Toni needs to get some new friends in "the biz" and a can of Act Right. (Uh, anyone care to be my new best friend in the bloggy biz? And I've been dodging cans of Act Right for many successful years. Why stop now?)


  6. Toni needs his support, not his anger. (Well, duh!)


  7. Toni needs to be herself instead of trying to be Ashanti. (Whaa??? I'm going around telling people I'm Ashanti? Frankly folks, I Ashantished astonished.)


  8. And the shocker of the bunch?
  9. Toni may need to be euthanized (Oh stop, already. I'm not that fargone yet).


Okay, so that's how you play "Your name needs." Why don't you give 'er a whirl. If you do, you simply must let me know what you came up with for your own name.

I do want to add one very important oversight that Google clearly missed. And that is,...TONI NEEDS JESUS.

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:8-9

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves,
it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no-one can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

Toni

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13 comments:

Ms. Skywalker said...

I did this before, and I'll never do it again. It said I needed a truck to haul around my rear end...they were talking about Jennifer Lopez, but it was like third on my list.

Anonymous said...

ROFLOL, Jenn. You totally cracked me up. LOL! ROFLOL!!!!!!!
Blessings,
~Toni~

Anonymous said...

I am scared to do this one!

Anonymous said...

Ok, I just did it anyway and it said "Ditch Crazy Dana". Please don't leave me, I would be so hurt!

Special K ~Toni said...

You kinda took all th fun out of it for me. Guess I will just copy and paste it to my blog. I did it a while back- it was MESSED up!

Anonymous said...

I did this a while ago its fun :)

Starrs In Denver said...

OK, so mine says:
1. Rose needs anger managment...hmmmm
2. Rose needs a refill
3. Rose needs smacking around
4. Rose needs oxygen mask
Yeah, mine aren't so great but they are still kinda funny! Thanks for a laugh!
~Rose

Barb said...

This was hysterical, Toni. It said I need as much help as possible. How did they know that! LOL

Julia Phillips Smith said...

I love "Toni needs to get some new friends in 'the biz' and a can of Act Right."

That's a great idea. I shall borrow it very soon!

Don't worry that Google didn't mention that "Toni needs Jesus." He knows already, I suspect...

Anonymous said...

This was fun. crystal needs

The first one seems like a nice thing, crystal needs a LOT of love. But I am not looking on THAT site. no!!!!!

Crystal needs your donations. Hmmmmmm probably not, but just send them to God’s Word for the Nations for Bible translations instead of the New Age Red Diamond fund

Crystal needs improvement – visit trip advisor. Vacation is all I ever wanted. Vacation have to get away

Crystal needs to sit in a super-saturated solution to continue growing --- sorry, but after 12 years of my dh working as an x ray crystallographer and growing crystal structures, I’m still not any taller than before

Ooohhh here’s one --- the crystal emporium for all of your crystal needs.

Use your intuition to discern how long the crystal needs to be in the salt water. Hey, maybe that one relates to the vacation plans. Oh wait… I live in the Midwest, where’s the nearest salt water vacation spot?


This one is interesting…
Crystal Cruises Special Needs Passengers ‚ Guests with any disability, including those confined to wheelchairs or who must use service animals, ...


Thanks Toni… fun idea

Anonymous said...

ROFLOL! Crystal, your name came up with some hysterical ones. Even more so with your comments.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
~Toni~

Kristi said...

That was great! I will have to see what I need :).

kittyhox said...

That is SO funny.

I'm Kitty.

I need a "good home."

I need a "playmate."

And, disturbingly, I need a "Dentist Feline Health Video."

Not sure what to make of that last one.

But like you, most of all (obviously):

Kitty needs Jesus!