Thirteen Things I have better to do than worry about who won American Idol
- Get a spray tan, bikini wax and a tattoo (have never done any of these things, but prefer them to
worshiping Idols watching Idol).
- Schedule a root canal just for spits and giggles
(and the only thing that could make it seem more torturous would be if American Idol came on as the drilling commenced.)
- Memorize the periodic table for chemistry (I'm not in a chemistry course at the moment, though I'm proud to say I set the curve for it when I did take it.)
- Watch old Star Search reruns (that's all American Idol is anyway; a glorified Star Search, only without other categories to give it a little life.)
- Spend a beautiful, sunny, balmy afternoon at the Department of Motor Vehicles (and it could only feel worse if I hallucinated and thought the workers were Simon, Paula and Randy.)
- Watch a Judge Judy-thon (now there's some judging to match Simon's.)
- Call my senator (about something, anything that would prevent me from using up precious cell phone minutes to vote on American Idol).
- Track down a single mosquito in my bedroom. In the middle of the night. During a power outage. With a migraine. And type O blood (which makes me all the more appealing.)
- Get stuck in traffic. With AM jams only. And my gas tank on "E." And four hungry kids in the car (and if talk of American Idol started on the one radio station that didn't fuzz out, I would be required to break out in a fit of road rage.)
- Schedule a field trip to a pig farm in the middle of July. On a high humidity day. Without proper ventilation (because after all, "some things" just stink.)
- Read Rosie O'Donell's blog (and that's the bottom of the barrel for me.)
- Ride all the twirly rides at Cedar Point. Without Dramamine. On a full stomach. Of reaaaaally greasy food. (and don't dare play any Idol songs or or another contest is gonna begin; one called the cookie toss).
- Getting stuck on a deserted island with Clay Aiken (so I can play my favorite game of all time, SURVIVOR, while I single handedly eliminate my competition.)
Oh no she dih-int. Oh yes I did! And now don't all you Idol fans up and disown me. I mean, I still love you, even if you do need a 12 step program. So I say, cry if you must, but while you're doing that, I'm going to be busy trying to pitch Susan Powter as the spokesperson for recovering Idol-holics, what with her profound and appropriate message.
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10 comments:
Toni, I am with you! I watched AI for the first time last night and was NOT impressed at all!
Well put, I couldn't have said it any better myself. :-)
hahahaha!
I watched AI for the first three seasons and then it just got boring. Same ol' thing.
ENCORE! ENCORE! This is my favorite post yet!!!
Very funny Toni, if I had TV and knew what/who you were talking about I think it would be even more hilarious! hahaha And yes, I must live under a rock somewhere out in California.
Oh! What a grand list you have here! Being so far away, we don't get the hype or the show anymore, but everytime I open the yahoo, there is some sort of article another about IDOL and all its silliness!
This was a hilarious list of better things to do.
The Dutch have a version of thier own by the way, which is painful to watch, but doesn't get near the hype that America's version does.
Found you via Julia!
You mean I'm NOT the only one who remembers Star Search?
let me get out my LP of Durell Coleman's When a Man Loves a Woman. sing it to me. Sorry --- he was on S.S. and lived 10 miles from me at the time. He was a Big Star from the Star City of the South.
I've never watched AI. I'm usually someone's blog instead. :)
--crystal
Girl- we are so alike! I loathe AI!
How did I miss this yesterday??
I have to confess, I do NOT watch AI. But only because, I find it soooo embarassing to watch/hear other people sing, unless they are really good.
We caught a few minutes on the last night, just in time to watch last year's winner. It was mortifyingly embarassing.
But I do watch plenty of other trashy shows, like America's Next Top Model, so I can't really talk...
:) Funny stuff!
Oh Toni, this new AI fan thought that was too funny! And those may be my sentiments next year. Good grief I'm glad it's over!!! That was enough tv watching to last me a year.
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