HOUSE OF GOUDA (a birthday experience)
Now I have to say, I'm about as fond of Chuck E Cheese as I am of a red hot dagger in my eye. Given the choice, I'm tempted to say I'd risk the ophthalmic damage (after all, some U.F.O. inevitably whizzes by my eye sockets at Chuck E's anyway, no doubt launched by some sugared up and overstimulated child.) But alas, Party Safari was "closed for construction" the other day (whaa?) so unfortunately we found ourselves at the Rat's House of Gouda (a.k.a. Chuck E Cheese).
What's Party Safari?
Dear blog friends, think Chuck E Cheese, only with George of the Jungle episodes blaring on the mega screen and stuffed monkeys swinging on ropes as they literally scream above your head (not to mention the train ride complete with "scare the hair off your arms" animal sounds.) But hey, we like the convenient birthday package, which includes a huge cake and prize bags for about the same price as House of Gouda (and, perhaps, we like the depilatory effect of our arm hairs falling out). Sigh. The kids do enjoy it in spite of our threadbare nerves.
And I still say it's waaaaaay less stressful then having a hundred adults and children over for a little one's birthday (ever been to one of those?) I don't mean the typical children's birthday party with some close friends or family in attendance. I mean the GALAS. How do the hosting parents survive those? And so, there we were at the Rat's House of Gouda.
Cierah wasn't feeling too well, so she walked around in an oxymoron state; taking in the sights and sounds of "The Rat" while simultaneously looking spacey and detached from all the busyness (and I imagine my own face had a similar "glazed over" look in that hole place, lol.)
And now to recap a few, uh hem, "special" moments. Reece, as you know, is my imp (rascal, squirt, dickens, handful). And he doesn't always consider the social implications of his actions. So imagine our complete horror when he said aloud,
"Momma, did I just poop myself a little?" (insert bug eyes here.)
Now before you wonder,...NO! NoooOOoo!
Reece does not "poop myself a little." So this was noooot a good sign. But before Carl or I could say anything more urgent than, "I surely hope not," he unglued our very last nerve when he (here it comes) dropped his drawers right in the middle of the House of Gouda to check for mud bunnies. Yes. He. Did. Too.
Gasp (we pause this blogging adventure to give you a chance to readjust your jaw.)
This was thee worst Rat Trip EVER! Carl and nearly banged our biscuits (a.k.a. heads) trying to cover Reece's personal business. And off Carl scuttled him to the restroom for a more appropriate check (and much needed instruction). I, meanwhile, was doing my best to recover without daring to cast my eyes outward for fear I might be scolded by the glances of "more refined" parents. So, onward Cierah and I marched in our glassy eyed trances, as Olivia enjoyed a game or two of this-n-that.
And speaking of Olivia, gotta love that child's perspective. Yesterday, we were recapping our visit to House of Gouda (minus the horrifying details of Reece's public poop check.) Olivia said something about having a good time. I exaggerated the truth viewed the trip down memory lane as "glass half full" and replied, "Mommy sure had fun watching you guys enjoy yourselves." The conversation that followed first confused and then amused me.
"Did you have Chuck E Cheese when you were little?"
"No."
[groan and sigh of relief]
"NoOOo. Nothing like that."
"Was your birthday in black and white?"
[bewildered] "What???"
"Did you celebrate your birthday in black and white?"
[still confused] "I don't understand. What do you mean?"
"You know. Because you celebrated your birthday in the olden days."
Olden days indeed (Hmmf)!
Oh, the joys of being an older mom! Frazzled nerves. Catatonic trips to the House of Gouda. And fond memories of celebrating my own "covered wagon" birthdays in shades of black and white (uh, I'm fondly recalling the 70's here, but that would be 1870's according to my daughter.) Definitely another day experienced as "glass half full." For amid all the craziness, I still marveled in the blessings and wonder of the moment. And they're all passing more quickly than my "mother's heart" can grasp.
Toni
15 comments:
I sooooooo agree with you on Chuck E Cheese. I have suffered through that place many times and all I can say is at least the pizza isn't bad. Oh, its not that good either, don't get me wrong, but when I am on the verge of a CEC breakdown and I need something to drown my sorrows, it works for me.
As for the poo fiasco, it sounds like you handled it like a pro. There are only so many ways you can be 'cooth' checking for poo in the presence of a hundred children and a giant mouse, you know. It SOOOO could have been worse. He could have been in the tubes or the ball pit and had the poo decide to make an escape. A full-scale Chuck E Cheese evacuation would have been a memory for the scrapbooks, yes?
In all seriousness, glad your daughter had a nice birthday!! :)
THIS is hysterical and will get me through my day at the CLEGA. I have never set foot inside a CEC and you make me want to go, (sans kids), for the entertainment.
Let me know when your next performance is.
Hysterical. Love the way you write.
Always love reading your posts. You are such a wonderful story teller. Put a smile on my face and a few laughs. We're not old enough around here yet for the "House of Gouda" but I'm sure we'll be frequenting it in the not so far off future!
I love your way with words!
Oh, we LOVE CEC! During the week, at lunchtime, when every undisciplined child in town is not trying to step on my toddler to get to the next ticket trap! It's nice for me and the hubby to sit down to a sandwich while the older two go off to spend their cupful o' change and cash in their winnings for a plastic bracelet or CEC tattoo.
Ahh, marketing. CEC is a genius.
I have also voiced my hatred for the rat's house. I am so sorry you had to endure that torture!
Bwaaahhahahaaha Toni! You are so funny. I thought birthday parties like this only happened to me!
Oh, Toni! I asked my husband to pause his documentary to listen to me read your post. We both laughed out loud and I had tears pouring down my cheeks :) You do have a gift for writing...thanks for sharing it with us! What fun to laugh and enjoy our children in all their glory!
~Rose
Hi Toni,
I, too, am a homeschool mom, a Christian, and a blogger (me and hubby are really into blogging right now.) My sister gave me a link to your blog. I enjoyed this story and was right there with you in spirit--I can't even do Party Safari anymore. Sigh. I have to admit, we end up doing the GALAS more often than not. (Big brother had one six months ago, Mom! Why can't I?) The ironic thing is, I only had a birthday party like that once, on my 11th birthday. My parents were raising four kids on a pastor's salary. Plus, it just wasn't "done" every single year like it is now. I think my homeschool guilt (you know, the kind that listens to the people that say, "But what about socialization?" which I know is a bunch of malarchy) makes me do it.
I'll be reading!
Andrea
I'm very proud to say I've never once entered a Chuck E. Cheese but wouldn't mind going someday. I'm just that perverse.
LOL!! on the birthday in black-and-white!!
Wait - me again. Forgot to say I seriously laughed out loud here at reception over Reece's poo discovery. Even if it had been my kid I would have laughed right there. And then tried to act as if I wasn't laughing. That's me with kids at all times.
Hysterical!
Ugh. Chuck E. Cheese.
So with ya on the CEC - but we took the girls and they loved it... LOVED.IT. what is with these kids?!
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