MORE ON YESTERDAY'S PHOTO

Was I a flight attendant? No. Did I date an airplane? No. These are a few of the comments that were made about yesterday's Eastern Airlines photo. So, how is that airplane a blast from my past? Well, Eastern was the second airline I worked for (Continental being the first, and USAirways being the last and dearest, due to the many awesome friends I made while working there).

I worked for Eastern Airlines while attending college in Akron, Ohio. The airport I worked at was DINKY small and waaaay behind the times. Folks, we still boarded airplanes with truck stairs, which is aiken to listening to music on a transistor radio (or Dino-pod, if you will).

Driving rain.
Blinding snow.
Gale force winds.

Didn't matter, because there I would be, in 3" heels and a skirt, driving the ol' (O.L.D.) truck stairs up to meet the plane. And it got even more outrageous when we had to use an aisle chair to take a non-ambulatory passenger up or down those stairs. No, the mobility status of the passenger was not outrageous. Rather, the dinosaur equiptment with which we had to perform our job (when every other airport in America had jetways) was outrageous.

And I worked with a gal who was a bit (how shall I say) off? She would take her heeled shoes off and help board the aisle chair in her stocking feet. Professional was the image we went for (uh hem).

The boarding area was about 45ºF in the winter (dead serious) and we had to keep the free coffee flowing while our passengers waited to board. And I think we might have been the only airport in America that had ascending and descending moving sidewalks. Picture escalators, only without stairs. Flat ascending and descending moving belts. HA! And you could park directly in front of the airport for a few coins in a parking meter. Seriously. What a hoot it was.

And now for one of my crazy job functions. Coldbuster duty. The aircraft could not simply be shut down in freezing temps. No, that would be very, very bad (kind of like fuel line freeze up for your car). Enter coldbuster duty. A big, clunky, external heater for the aircraft. Part timers were assigned "on call" a day or two each week during the winter. If the temps fell below freezing on your night, you had to go in and "man the ship" from either midnight to 3am, or 3am to 6am. And if you had the first shift, you had to hook the blasted machine up to the aircraft and crank it up. And at 3am, it BETTER crank. Then you had to babysit. An airplane. Seriously. You had to stay right there and make sure that contraption ran during your shift.

So, just how does one young college girl pass the time (three stinkin' hours of precious sleep time) while on coldbuster duty, you ask? Well, in any number of creative and hairbrained ways. But I'll let you in on my favorite. I went onboard the aircraft (no lights or heat available, other than what is coming in via the coldbuster, which isn't much). I brought along my most favorite magazines, searched the galley for any remaining snacks, grabbed both rechargeable flashlights and headed for the nearest row of seats. Down came the tray and up went the flashlights. I read a bit, sat in the "driver's seat" and pretended to be Captain Toni, watched for signs of life outside the aircraft, and then finally (inevidibly) fell asleep.

Now before you think, 'Hey! Isn't she supposed to make sure that machine keeps pumpin' cold air?', I want you to know I'm a very light sleeper. Especially on an empty aircraft that's "warmed up" to all of 45º or so. But, yes. I caught a few Z's with the aid of several complimentary blankets and pillows. And my official wake-up call came when I was either relieved by the co-worker who had the later coldbuster shift or the morning ramp service employees began making their usual noise at the airline next door.

And I have to tell you, sometimes I worked the 3am-6am shift, then had to report to customer service duty at 7am. Can't you just see what I looked like by then? Um,..."Excuse me, dear customers but, unless you would like to lose a clump of hair and some time with Grandma Hattie in Atlanta, kindly step away from the complimentary coffee so's I can have my full up first. Otherwise, this big bird here, she's not makin' it out on time. Trust me on that one. Now MOOOOOOVE!"

All in a good day's work!

Toni