Nothing says "classy" like a Ford Ranger

Last night, I did one of my most favorite things. That is, I met with my good friend Sniz for "coffee." Now I have to say, we sometimes use that phrase "out for coffee" in the symbolic sense, as we don't always even get coffee (because we get to talking like the girls that we are and just plain forget to actually purchase a drink.) It's a little thing I like to call loitering, though I promise we don't purposely set out to do that.

So we chatted away for a few hours (how I love having the chance to just sit and talk with my friend Sniz), then stepped outside to get in our cars.

That's when I noticed the look in Sniz'eyes. A look that told me she was on dangerous ground, coming as close to coveting as a girl can get.
And really, who could blame her?
I mean there she was, all set to head home in her mini van, while moi, on the other hand, was ready to head home the way most men prefer their women to head home.

In a pick-up truck (nothing says "classy" like Ford Ranger.)

Now, I'm not one to wrongfully boast or to tempt others to covet. Yet even as I type this, I imagine you might find yourself in Sniz' difficult shoes, wanting what I have. My golden beauty, the "new '97" as we call her, my Ford Ranger. I'm sorry, but this ride's mine and besides, we can't all be that lucky.

And speaking of luck, I'm truly the luckiest. Because you see, when I drive the golden beauty (with the foam green pinstriping, not that I'm bragging or at all rubbing it in), it makes this "musical" sound every time I excelerate OR hit the breaks.
The notes go something like this;

K-CHUNK!
K-CHUNK!
K-CHUNK!

Basically, it's the ready to snap in half musical sound of,...what?...steel on steel, yes.
At least that's the song I hear.
And Sniz has had the "privilege" of hearing it too because she and Big Doofus have borrowed the golden beauty on occasion (naturally, we're always happy to share our elite ride with others.)

As Sniz stood there and drank in magic of my ride glistening under a thick layer of dust and dirt and grime under the lights in the parking lot, something happened.

I began to giggle. Alot!

Sniz, still somewhat dreamy from her encounter with the golden beauty, turned her attention to me as she tried to figure out the cause of my laughter. So I began, laughing harder as I explained...

"I know you can't help but admire my ride. And as much as you don't want to, you're clearly coveting and I can understand that. Really, I do. But the thing is...and you've had the privilege of riding in that beauty so I know you'll get this...the thing is, it makes that...that....that...sound. That loud, "K-CHINK! K-CHINK!" sound every time I hit the break or the gas. And I just think that one of these days, I'm going to be sitting at a traffic light and it's going to turn green and I'll hit the gas and begin to drive away. Next thing I know, I'll be sitting in a reeeeeally tiny cab when the dang truck splits in half and the bed remains behind at the traffic light."

We both began laughing about it and I can't be sure, but I thought I heard Jeff Foxworthy in the background saying, "You just might be redneck."

The proverbial icing on the cake immediately followed when we got into our vehicles just as a serious drive-through line formed behind us. Sniz put her van in reverse and, sure enough, a car immediately stopped and let her through.

"Wonderful! I'll follow suit," I thought.

I put the golden beauty in reverse and...

Block!
Block block!

People were all, "Just hold up, lil' lady. You aint goin' nowhere before I git me a Big Beufort and a Biggie fry."
And I was all, "I totally understand their reaction, because jealousy is a powerful force."
And who wouldn't be jealous of my golden beauty?

That probably explains why, when I threw my truck into forward and reverse about 5 times to edge my way out of the parking trap I found myself in, I heard a voice yell in my direction, "Clampetts!" as I drove away.

Sheesh, it's hard to be humble when you're being compared to celebrity and all.

Toni