Airline Industry, "HA!"

I gotta say, nothing gives blog fodder like a job in the airline industry. Now you might think, "What's so special about that industry?
You'd have to ask A&E Network, as they clearly felt it was the perfect choice for a (once) new reality show, entitled (naturally) "AIRLINE".
Now, I imagine they crossed a few contenders off their list before narrowing it down to the frontrunner.
Reality shows like "RESTROOM" (where the men waltz right in but the women stand in lines for 15 minutes or more).
Perhaps "TAX TIME" was also in the running, along with "CALL CENTER" and my personal favorite, "THE D.M.V."
But at the end of the day, it was "AIRLINE" that won out.

Having worked in that industry for more than 13 years, I know a thing or two about it. Ah, the stories I could tell...
-the man who took off all his clothes mid-flight and would not put them back on. Wouldn't keep the blankets over him either. No statement. Just no clothes.
-the lady who checked dead cats (smelly dead cats at that)
-the young man who was yelling at me because he was supposed to be in Cleveland. Which he was. Only, he failed to tell anyone he needed a ticket to Cleveland, TN (which would be a significant detail, seeing as his ticket read Cleveland, OH)
-the lady who threw a snake away in the trash because she couldn't check it.
-the guy who hid darts with pornographic images on them in our teleprompters because he couldn't travel with them.
-the couple who was from Jordon, who were highly offended that I "dared" to examine their travel documents closely (I assured them that I took the safety of ALL passengers from ALL nations with equal seriousness; that they should feel reassured that we do our jobs thoroughly, to which they suggested I shouldn't have to look their documents up, that if I was efficient, I would simply KNOW if they were okay to travel or not...sigh)
-being asked at least 10 times if I would park someone's car for them because it was curbside and they were about to miss their flight
-having a late arriving doctor demand that I bring the flight back to the gate or it would be on MY conscience that someone died in Atlanta (you don't have any dead relatives in Atlanta, do you?). I'm glad *I* needed to have that on *my* conscience, and that he didn't need to feel bad about, what?, being LATE!

As you can see (and if you've ever watched A&E's show), it's a "lively" job.
The few.
The proud.
The gluttens for punishment.
The Airline Industry.
I won't get into the nature of the beast (irregular operations, the anxiety associated with flying, etc.) I'll just share the latest "unique experience" that hubs encountered (most of you know that while I left the industry to care for our children, he is still there, God rest his nervous system). So today, he was working the ticket counter when an older lady with a furrowed brow and a brightly colored moo moo approached his position. Clearly frustrated, she grumbled, "They won't let me take this through security. I need to put it in my bag." Now, there was a day when it might have been possible to call the bag room and retrieve a passenger's bag. But for reasons I won't get into here, it was not going to be possible today. So hubs shared that bad news with her.

SCREECH!

She was NOT happy.
In.
The.
Least.

She barked, "Just what do you expect me to do with this?"
(Insert Toni's thought: "Um, you don't want a serious answer to that question, right?)
So hubs suggested she allow someone from her send-off party to take it home with them. LOL, she blew him away. You're gonna love this one. It was (according to hubs) one of those bottles of Bath&Body Works body sprays. She huffed and hawed and then working toward a near screaming crescendo, she spouted, "I will NOT have someone take my stuff home. I'm gonna spray this entire bottle on me before I board my flight. I will smell from head to toe and I don't care if it makes the other passengers sneeze or choke or anything else!"
(My guess is that last one made reference to an all-out asthma attack or allergic reaction to her full bottle spray down, but it's only a hunch.)
I can't help but giggle as I picture this, but she grabbed the bottle and aggressively waved it at hubs before defiantly continuing. "See! I'm gonna start right NOW!", and she walked away in a cloud of spritz, liberally sraying herself all over, pits and all.
Just another day in Paradise!

Toni

Just what IS is he looking at?

So I'm sitting in church today and 7yo Reece is next to me, clearly enthralled by something. He was leaning forward to see around me,while glancing upward toward the wall on the other side of me, the wall which was half an aisle away. I quickly became curious as to the source of his focus (because let's face it, anything that holds a 7yo boy's attention for more than a few seconds is probable cause for genuine alarm).

I looked over at the wall. Hmmm, not much there to stare at, other than the light fixtures. Oh, gulp! I certainly hope he hasn't discovered something he best NOT be rudely staring at, like blue hair on an old lady or something. I cringed as I investigated. Phew, safe. No blue hairs, third eyes, or anything else I would have needed to crawl under my chair for.

So,....just what is that boy staring at?
Only one way to find out.
I leaned over and, ever so quietly, inquired.
"Reece, honey. It's not polite to stare."
"Sah-wee, Mom."
Couldn't leave well enough alone, so I pressed onward.
Again, whispering, "Reece, what were you staring at for so long?"
"Your nose. I could see right up those little holes on the bottom of it."
I just had to ask (sigh).

Psalm 18:15 ESV
Then the channels of the sea were seen, and the foundations of the world were laid bare at your rebuke, O Lord, at the blast of the breath of your nostrils.
(Well, what verse would you choose?)

Toni

Ant Rant!

I know y'all are aware of the gift I have for meeting colorful characters. Lessee, there was Bubba and 'em dawgs. And my own personal dream team. And who could forget Grandpa Cradle and his plans for the pulpit? Now, now. No need to covet. Apparently I just have a knack. And so the good gift continues.....

We were checking out groceries at Kroger the other day. Have you seen Napoleon Dynamite?



OK, well, he works at my Kroger (Sniz can vouge for me). So Napoleon noticed we were buying ant traps. He began.

" 's only way to get 'em, ya know."

Dh, coming out of his grocery line stupor, responded in question.
"Come again?"

"Ants. There's only one way to get 'em. Basically, ya gotta spray 'em dead."
Dh, not wanting to debate unsolicited but friendly advice, simply nodded.

"Well?"

I could see the confusion-induced droplets of sweat beginning to form on dh's brow. He was heistant to take on our local version of Napoleon, especially where God's tiniest creation was concerned. So he stood there staring blankly, obviously confused by what it was, exactly, that he was supposed to be answering, when Napoleon broke the ackward silence and continued.

"Course, if you spray everything down, your dog might die."

"Huh!" dh mused, obviously considering how our dog might be impacted when, in fact, we don't even have a dog.

"And nobody wants dead pets." (Yes, Napoleon, I believe we can safely agree on that one. Most folks definitely do prefer to co-habit with the live version.)

"Plus if you spray, they come for their dead and take them back to their little hive," a slight pause for consideration, then he added, "or whatever."

At this point, I was wondering if I should be helpful and dab dh's brow. Conflicted about how to handle the strange stand-off, I overcompensated by frantically packing groceries (think Edith Bunker).
Back to Napoleon...

"So really, spraying'll just bring more ants, which really is the opposite of what you're trying to accomplish. So if I were you, I'd just set out some ant traps."

Dang, that boy's got some skills! ;)

Btw, you might know that we recently cruised to the Bahamas with our dear friends, Miss Sniz and Big Doofus. What you might NOT know though, is that Big Doofus, he's got some pipes. Check him out HERE and be sure to let him know you stopped by.

Toni

Always interesting (conversations with Reece)

Into the kitchen Reece came, a science book in tow.
"S...A..R...S...A...P...A...R...I...L...L...A. What does that say, Momma?
Can we eat it?"
I explained that the root has been used to make a "sasparilla" soda, quickly recalling that Reece drank it last October when we were in Tucson.

"You had it, actually, when we were in Tucson."
"I did? What did it taste like?"
"A little like root beer. Do you remember?"
"Was it at a restaurant?"
"Uh huh."
"Did it come in a brown bottle?"
"Uh huh."
"Was the bottle kind of tiny?"
"Yes, uh huh."
"Hmmm,...I don't remember that."

OY VEY!

Toni

Play-Doh: one toddler's aversion

At 2 years old, my others have been fearful of all sorts of things. Olivia was afraid of mall Santas. Reece, anything involving movement or loud sounds (he basically skipped amusement parks from age 2 to age 6). And Cierah just knew that toilets (especially pit toilets) were going to suck her into their vortex below.

But Brandon's different. Our daredevil. He'll try most anything. And he's quite pleased with himself, but for a few exceptions. Play-doh, my friends, is one of those.

Oh sure, he'll get out his "paw-doh" and roll it around in little balls. He'll hand press it into molds and cut it with plastic knives and cookie cutters. Heck, he'll even taste it (while pretending to like the taste of salt and ply.) But there's just one little problem Brandon has with "the doh" and it goes like this.

Do not press the playdough through any of the pressers. Instant willies for Brandon. But don't take my word for it. Let him speak for himself (and I do believe his word of choice is, "Yuck!")

Toni

Cruise recap!

Okay, I finally have some photos uploaded from our recent cruise with Miss Sniz and Big Doofus. If you have never gone on a cruise, I highly suggest you consider it when it is possible for you. Not only do I feel it's a good value, but I also think it's THE most relaxing vacation you can experience. No worries about what to do, where to eat, where to stay, or how to get around. You literally board your ship and indulge in relaxation for the duration of your cruise. That fact alone deserves some weight when considering the cost. ;) And now, a little peak at our time out to sea!


Behind the boats is a long pink building. That's Bayside, an artsy Miami mall that is a favorite stop for tourists who overnight before their cruise. At the far left of the shot is a round building. That's the Hard Rock Cafe, where we all had dinner the night before we sailed.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~All aboard!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Sniz and I enjoying the sunshine by the pool on our ship.


Dh and I, outside Señor Frogs, Nassau.


The four of us hiked up to Fort Fincastle and the Queen's Staircase. That's Sniz heading down the Queen's staircase.


The "international airport" at Great Stirrup Cay (the private island). This heli- pad was part of a past military installation.


Our ship anchored near our private island. We had to take a tender boat in choppy seas from the ship to the island. Click on the photo and you'll be able to see the tender docked at the side of the ship.


See that open door? That was where we boarded the tender to go over to the island. Dh couldn't believe how little seperation there was between the threshhold of the door and the surface of the water. Yikes!


Our own private island in the Bahamas! Love this place.


Sniz and Big Doofus. Don't they look adorable? This was our last night, out on deck under the stars.

Toni