Airline Industry, "HA!"

I gotta say, nothing gives blog fodder like a job in the airline industry. Now you might think, "What's so special about that industry?
You'd have to ask A&E Network, as they clearly felt it was the perfect choice for a (once) new reality show, entitled (naturally) "AIRLINE".
Now, I imagine they crossed a few contenders off their list before narrowing it down to the frontrunner.
Reality shows like "RESTROOM" (where the men waltz right in but the women stand in lines for 15 minutes or more).
Perhaps "TAX TIME" was also in the running, along with "CALL CENTER" and my personal favorite, "THE D.M.V."
But at the end of the day, it was "AIRLINE" that won out.

Having worked in that industry for more than 13 years, I know a thing or two about it. Ah, the stories I could tell...
-the man who took off all his clothes mid-flight and would not put them back on. Wouldn't keep the blankets over him either. No statement. Just no clothes.
-the lady who checked dead cats (smelly dead cats at that)
-the young man who was yelling at me because he was supposed to be in Cleveland. Which he was. Only, he failed to tell anyone he needed a ticket to Cleveland, TN (which would be a significant detail, seeing as his ticket read Cleveland, OH)
-the lady who threw a snake away in the trash because she couldn't check it.
-the guy who hid darts with pornographic images on them in our teleprompters because he couldn't travel with them.
-the couple who was from Jordon, who were highly offended that I "dared" to examine their travel documents closely (I assured them that I took the safety of ALL passengers from ALL nations with equal seriousness; that they should feel reassured that we do our jobs thoroughly, to which they suggested I shouldn't have to look their documents up, that if I was efficient, I would simply KNOW if they were okay to travel or not...sigh)
-being asked at least 10 times if I would park someone's car for them because it was curbside and they were about to miss their flight
-having a late arriving doctor demand that I bring the flight back to the gate or it would be on MY conscience that someone died in Atlanta (you don't have any dead relatives in Atlanta, do you?). I'm glad *I* needed to have that on *my* conscience, and that he didn't need to feel bad about, what?, being LATE!

As you can see (and if you've ever watched A&E's show), it's a "lively" job.
The few.
The proud.
The gluttens for punishment.
The Airline Industry.
I won't get into the nature of the beast (irregular operations, the anxiety associated with flying, etc.) I'll just share the latest "unique experience" that hubs encountered (most of you know that while I left the industry to care for our children, he is still there, God rest his nervous system). So today, he was working the ticket counter when an older lady with a furrowed brow and a brightly colored moo moo approached his position. Clearly frustrated, she grumbled, "They won't let me take this through security. I need to put it in my bag." Now, there was a day when it might have been possible to call the bag room and retrieve a passenger's bag. But for reasons I won't get into here, it was not going to be possible today. So hubs shared that bad news with her.

SCREECH!

She was NOT happy.
In.
The.
Least.

She barked, "Just what do you expect me to do with this?"
(Insert Toni's thought: "Um, you don't want a serious answer to that question, right?)
So hubs suggested she allow someone from her send-off party to take it home with them. LOL, she blew him away. You're gonna love this one. It was (according to hubs) one of those bottles of Bath&Body Works body sprays. She huffed and hawed and then working toward a near screaming crescendo, she spouted, "I will NOT have someone take my stuff home. I'm gonna spray this entire bottle on me before I board my flight. I will smell from head to toe and I don't care if it makes the other passengers sneeze or choke or anything else!"
(My guess is that last one made reference to an all-out asthma attack or allergic reaction to her full bottle spray down, but it's only a hunch.)
I can't help but giggle as I picture this, but she grabbed the bottle and aggressively waved it at hubs before defiantly continuing. "See! I'm gonna start right NOW!", and she walked away in a cloud of spritz, liberally sraying herself all over, pits and all.
Just another day in Paradise!

Toni