The adolescent prank revamped.

From Webster's;
noogie
Main Entry: noog·ie
Pronunciation: \nu-gē\
Function: noun
Etymology: origin unknown
Date: 1972
: the act of rubbing one's knuckles on a person's head so as to produce a mildly painful sensation


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Wet Willie
Origin Mobile, AL
Alabama
United States
Genre(s) Southern rock
Years active 1970-current
Wet Willie is an American band from Mobile, Alabama, U.S. They were best known for their hit "Keep On Smilin'", but had a number of charted songs in the 1970s utilizing their soulful brand of Southern rock.

Um,....no. Wet Willie is not a band. At least not one that I listened to in the 70's (did I?). We all know it's a wet finger unexpectedly being stuck in your ear. Totally gross. Never gave one. Never got one. What a blessing to have escaped adolescence without it.

So, there's a new kid gag on the horizon. This one has to do with wedgies.
From Webster's;
wedgie
Main Entry: wedg·ie
Pronunciation: \ˈwe-jē\
Function: noun
Date: 1939
1 : a shoe having a wedge-shaped piece serving as the heel and joining the half sole to form a continuous flat undersurface
2 : the condition of having one's clothing wedged between the buttocks usually from having one's pants or underpants yanked up from behind as a prank —often used with get or give

Did you read that last line? Often used with get or give. Bahahahahaha!
Well, move over, Dino-wedgies, 'cause I'm here to tell ya, there's a new prank in town. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present to you.........

The RIP AWAY WEDGIE. Ut uh, I am not kidding. It was in the Enquirerer on Fox News this morning.
Do you think I could make this stuff up?
Seriously.
You can check it out here.
Never mind that our soldiers are risking their lives in Afghanistan and Iraq. Forget national security and unsecured borders. And who needs to worry about global warming when the RIP AWAY WEDGIE is on the horizon? I'm sorry, but some U.S. Americans don't even have maps and we're worried about RIP AWAY WEDGIES? Reeeeeally? Huh, because see, I'm just not following the urgent need for news coverage on this one.

And honestly, would you (even at age 12) want to carry a little piece of Jimmy Johnson's skid marks down the hall in your hand? (though I'm sure you could use that ripped away strip just like the flashing lights on an emergency vehicle, clearing a nice path to seventh period for yourself, classmates ducking away into lockers and open doors as you passed.)

And what about little Jimmy J? Would he ever live that down? Really, what kid is going to buy these things and wear them to school so some bully can pull out their business and use it as a revamped version of the noogie or the wet willie?

This just gives a whole new meaning to being worked over by a wet towel.

Can you just feel the humiliation and horror of it?
I sure can.
"Hey Nelson. I just slapped Masterson upside the head with Jimmy Johnson's rip cord."

Euwwwwwwwww!

But hey, it's worthy of national news so I figured you'd want to be in the know (*rolls eyes*).

Toni